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Rural New Zealand terminology

Posted by Dawn 
Rural New Zealand terminology
June 28, 2017 04:18PM
This was in Grownup's newsletter on this cold, frosty morning - a little bit of simple humour which made me smile - thought others may enjoy it. smiling smiley
Regards,
Dawn.


Rural New Zealand terminology

A little bit of Kiwi culcha!

•LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbeque hotter
•LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbeque.
•MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbeque.
•DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute.
•HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold beer….
•KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys.
•WINDOW: What you shut when the weather’s cold.
•SCREEN: What you shut in the mosquito season.
•BYTE: What mosquitos do…
•MEGABYTE: What South Island mosquitos do.
•CHIP: A pub snack.
•MICROCHIP: What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.
•MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
•LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps….
•SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get on an airplane.
•HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks – from K-Mart…
•MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
•MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
•WEB: What spiders make.
•WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
•SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won’t go.
•CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won’t go.
•YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go.
•UPGRADE: A steep hill.
•SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
•MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch.
•USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
•NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
•INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
•NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
•ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
•OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.
Re: Rural New Zealand terminology
June 28, 2017 05:11PM
Brilliant. Thank you for sharing.
Re: Rural New Zealand terminology
June 28, 2017 05:48PM
Re: Rural New Zealand terminology
June 29, 2017 01:50AM
...outstanding Dawn! Have sent to my American friend who visits every summer. He just loves NZ and we 'Kiwis' and will appreciate the 'down on the farm' humour.

Regards,

Barbara Anne
Re: Rural New Zealand terminology
June 29, 2017 02:47AM
Thanks Dawn, I had a good laugh
Re: Rural New Zealand terminology
June 29, 2017 04:37PM
What a great start to my day! I just wish I had seen this a couple of days ago as I sent out the SeniorNet quarterly newsletter on Tuesday. Would have been an ideal addition for some lighthearted reading for our computer-literate locals. I think I'll save it for the next newsletter. Thank you, Dawn.
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