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My Pet Hate

Posted by IngridO 
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 05:00AM
Griz, Ed often comes into the study when I am working with an apple in hand.
He must wonder why I disappear so quickly.
I haven't told him that I just can't cope with his crunching as it seems so odd. In fact until this thread started I thought I was just intolerant and weird and didn't realise that there are plenty of people the same.
I think I can cope with the kids eating apples, in fact it really does seem to be flatmate and Ed that have caused the greatest angst.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2017 05:13AM by helen.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 06:05AM
Helen, I find it interesting you've never said anything to your husband. I have explained my situation to my husband many times.. he knows there are some noises I simply cannot cope with, and that it isn't anything personal against him nor is it something I can control. He takes care not to suck and slurp at a hot drink because he knows it greatly bothers me - he doesn't mind this at all as he sees it as one of those little things you do for someone you care about. That said, I've never made it about him though "you slurp your drink and I hate it" - more like "I really can't cope when someone slurps, would you mind trying not to?" There are of course the majority of times with non immediate family members when I move to the opposite corner of a room from someone, or just exit the area entirely.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2017 06:17AM by Jenna.
J1
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 01:35PM
It's a matter of making peace with it. The mind becomes fixated on it in the wrong way and creates emotions,storylines and ego attachment to reinforce the irritant factor. Let it go, Change it from hate to love and laugh at the beauty of it. If you were locked in a room long-term with someone eating and drinking, you'll either go mad or see the light. The same as a hoarder will remain a hoarder unless they can heal their thought process. It can be not an easy thing to do but it's achievable. Love the person, love their noises, love their humanity, love the brief time they're in the world, alive and eating.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 03:08PM
Beautifully said J1.Life is very short especially for some.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 04:27PM
.................and how do we know that, by our own idiosyncrasies (which are not actually apparent to ourselves), we are not annoying someone, and that that someone is being very tolerant and not letting on to us? None of us are perfect, although we might think we are. smiling smiley grinning smiley
Regards,
Dawn.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 04:51PM
I don't watch a lot of TV, but I think my biggest annoyance which actually causes me to do something about it is particular TV advertisements. There are just one or two which will actually cause me to pick up the tv remote and change channel or sound until I'm safe to go back to the original channel because I cannot stand them. There is no way I can take kids screaming out something (or singing something) at the top of their voice. There are a couple on the box at the moment - talk about a turn-off!!!!! angry smiley
Regards,
Dawn.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 05:07PM
I'm with you all the way Dawn, (most of it anyway - I love the little girl yelling Let's get lost Dad), on TV ads. The ones that really bug me and I turn the sound off for are that furniture store (where I've vowed I'll never set foot in no matter how good the bargain), and others similar. Also, I get tired of the really thrashed-to-death ads that are played during nearly every ad break. I end up turning off the sound and doing something else.

Wasn't there some sort of control over the volume of ads going to be brought in sometime in the last few years, but advertisers promised they would control the volume themselves rather than having government introduce formal regulations? It worked for a while, but now it's time for the government regulations to come into force to save our sanity (and hearing!)
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 07:31PM
J1 - intellectually, of course you are right. From a mental health perspective though, it just isn't that simple. An involuntary full on fight/flight adrenaline response isn't an easy to prevent or control, and investigating any psychological or psychiatric issues behind the reason for such a response is a Big Thing, not just a matter of choosing to let it go.

Sticking it all out there, I have long standing problems with anxiety as well, and while my logical brain says "don't think about it" or "there isn't any rational reason for your fear", that means absolutely zero when the limbic area of my brain takes over. Talk about feeling conflicted - knowing that there isn't any real reason for the fear, but still not being able to control it. There are times I don't feel safe in my own mind. And yes, I've sought much help over the years for these things.. coping strategies can help, but it is still always lurking in the background.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 05, 2017 08:16PM
Dawn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
.................and how do we know that, by our
own idiosyncrasies (which are not actually
apparent to ourselves), we are not annoying
someone, and that that someone is being
very tolerant and not letting on to us? None of
us are perfect, although we might think we are.
smiling smiley grinning smiley
Regards,
Dawn.

Well said, Dawn although I think we sometimes need to share something, it just makes us as unique as the next person. winking smiley
Re: My Pet Hate
July 06, 2017 01:29AM
Completely agree J1.
I thought I had written that last night but can't see it today...
Re: My Pet Hate
July 06, 2017 02:00AM
Oh and did I mention the hotel toiletries that have such small print that you need a magnifying glass to check whether you are about to wash or condition your hair.

Gosh I sound like a grumble and I guess I am lucky to have stayed in a hotel but it is so annoying.
Re: My Pet Hate
July 06, 2017 05:00AM
Lorna and Dawn - TV ADS - It bothers me the ADS are so much louder than the TV program you are watching - No wonder everyone is flocking to Netflix and Sky.
Whilst noisy eaters don't bother me, noisy technology does. In my house, my son could be playing a game on the ipad, my husband watching Rygby on the TV, my daughter in another room watching a movie. All this noise battling with each other drives my loopy!
Re: My Pet Hate
July 08, 2017 05:22AM
Just putting it out there and being light hearted, it might pay to avoid China if you suffer form misophonia.

"Burping or slurping soup, actions which are considered impolite in Western culture, are part of Chinese eating and are generally interpreted as complimentary signs."

On that note, I was in Japan on a school trip as a teacher and we were at a food court place where I though you started at the end and moved along choosing what you want as you go. The lunch break must have started and our kids were bumped out the way with bewildered faces by the usually extremely polite Japanese.

It was quite funny seeing the kiwi kids attempting to muscle in.

Vanessa
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