Has anyone gone through the process of IVF. Just learned that my daughter is unable to conceive and is going through IVF next month. She has (unbeknown to me) gone through AHI for the last year, but that has been unsuccessful.
She has told me that she was told the IVF was really painful and she is dreading it.
Any help or advice would be great. I am going over to stay with her when she has the procedure. At this stage she is waiting for her period to come then she starts, Understand they are going to do the long cycle and implant 2 eggs.

Hi Noeleen,
I had IVF to conceive Daisy. We had 3 goes at AHI and 2 IVF before I got pregnant.
I am more than happy to share any information or help in anyway possible.

The whole process is awful - more emotionally than physically. I don't remember it being terribly painful physically - just uncomfortable at times.
I soon became used to the daily self injecting but the associated lows that the drugs induced - likened to premenstrual or menopausal - were pretty awful. It is great that she has the support of you and hopefully an understanding partner as well as it definitely can bring out the "witch" in all of us.

I will write more once I get more than a minute to check in.

Hi Noeleen,
what a wonderful thing it is to be able to be a candidate for IVF I wish your daughter the best of luck. Unfortunately my own daughter will never have children because of the steroids she iakes for her nephrotic syndrome (kidney disease) so I can feel for you and your daughter.
My fingers are crossed for a successful treatment. My thoughts are with you both.
Kay

My thoughts are with you all too as my daughter has had IVF 4 times now as at first it was her husband then they discovered she had a huge cyst, had that taken out & still no go. They managed to take some eggs from them both & we had a surrogate mother (a dear wonderful friend) who tried to carry them for them, that didn't work either now that dear friend is carrying her own & husbands child for them, aren't there some wonderful people out there?. Before you jump to any conclusions about this they go through strenious counselling etc to do this & they have gone through many thoughts & processes of what to expect so it is not taken lightly. Please be happy for them as it has been very heartbreaking up to this point. The baby is due next year.

Noeleen something to keep in mind as well is that there are all sorts of reasons for infertility and really each individual is different and will respond differently to treatment. People may give advice with the best of intentions but it can be very misleading.

Many people say to "get a puppy" or "adopt" but there is absolutely no scientific evidence to prove that either of these will help with conception - they are really old wives tales that people love to quote.
I also spent many $$ on naturopaths, homeopaths and chinese acupuncture - all to no avail.

There are people out there who claim to have extraordinary success rates with infertility but who I believe are just making a quick buck out of vulnerable people.

And there is no way you can stop thinking about it when you are in the middle of it. Learning to relax and making sure you have a healthy diet and exercise programme and good to do but as the Doctors told me - people still conceive under immense stress - so don't let her worry too much about being stressed, if that makes any sense at all!

Thanks for that, Helen I will e-mail you direct later if thats OK. Lyn I wish your daughter well for the baby. It is just heartbreaking knowing you cannot conceive. My daughter was very ill when she was 10yr with a lung infection and nearly died. I firmly believe it was the drugs that she took in hospital that has made her unable to conceive. The specialist told her it was a birth defect. However drugs or not we are just so happy to have her alive.
She said she has had mood swings on AHI so guess that will be with IVF. Unfortuantely her husband does not want to adopt at this stage. He is finding the process horrible and really doesn't want to talk about it.

We have some wonderful friends who tried IVF and it failed. She was 38 and he was 42, so they decided very reluctantly that they would childless. So they went out and bought a brand new 2 door sports car. Then a few months later, they discovered she was pregnant, without any assistance. They've just celebrated their son's first birthday.

I know this doesn't neccessarily help your daughter, but its always nice to know that there are some successful outcomes, even when you don't expect them.

Good luck with it all. I know our friends found out who their true friends were, when having to deal with the stresses of it all.

Linda.

Hi Noeleen

It is good that you are able to support her. We now have two wonderful wee grandsons as a result of IVF. It wasnt pleasant for Vivi and Gavin but they had wonderful support through their treatments. The first one failed and 2 implants the second time resulted in our wee boys who are now 16 months old. Although they are in Norway we kept in constant phone contact whilst they went through the treatment and they kept us up to date with the procedures that they were going through. The mood swings were the hardest part to cope with Vivi said. She said she didnt know how she could be so awful some times but it wasnt a side of her that is normally there and the drugs increase the hormone levels so that you are not really in control of your body.
Good luck to your daughter and I hope it all works out for your both.

Helen CB

Have there always been so many women who couldn't conceive naturally?, do we only hear about them because now there are procedures to assist conception? and why? doesn't it seem strange you all that this is quite common - look how many of us have experience of it.......good luck and well - done everyone doing their best to keep the family strong in this country, there seem to be lots of couples going for the lifestyle choice instead (no kids). I felt like writing to a particular columnist who recently wrote in defence of her childlessness, poking fun at first time parents, to point out to her that if everybody treated having kids so selfishly - we wouldn't have any hope for our future.....

Like you Lynley I too have wondered about the amount of women who are now having assisted conception. Since Vivi has had it done I am amazed at the number of women who have needed help. I think in the years gone by it was one of those things that were not talked about. I recently had dinner with an old friend & her mother and Wendy is adopted. In talking with Joan (Wendy's mum) she made a remark about the number of young girls falling pregnant and keeping their babies. She is in her 80's and whilst she has a very broad outlook on life wondered why there are less babies for adoption now and more women needing help. In her day if you didnt fall pregnant you just missed out or adopted and it was never spoken about. If you adopted you were one of the lucky ones but she said a lot of women remained childless as a lot of men wouldnt consider adoption as it was a blight on their manhood.

I think nowadays with the likes of TV programmes highlighting the issues it is a more talked about subject.

Helen CB

Also now we are often having our children later whch suits our lifestyle but not our fertility.

In a very intimate conversation, my cousin wondered why his wife hadn't reached her "sexual peak" in her late 30's (he think's he's missing out on something!!) - and I observed that she has had her children in her late 30's/early 40's and is too darn tired to have a sexual peak!

Here here!:}

have been away in hamilton a couple of days house-hunting so just got back to read the messages.
Thanks for all the comments. Interesting my daughter was saying if they are unable to conceive and remain childless the hardest part is all their friends will have children and they will be on the outer. Already some of her girlfriends have 1 or 2 children and tend to mix with other couples with children.
They were told there is a better change for IVF is they are under 30yrs. Once you reach 30 it is harder to get a good result.

I know I thought that I was the only one in the world without a baby as everywhere I looked there were pregnant women, babies and children and yes all of our friends had them and seemed to get pregnant very easily.

My sisiter inlaw had IVF with her first child having tried to conceive for 5 years. They did the dye test and was a busy girl when she got home and concieved before say further treatment. She then had her second child by IVF. THEN.................. She became pregnant with an eptopic! She lost one tube. Then micaculously she bacame pregnant again with one tube and had her third boy, then again she became pregnant naturally and had a girl. Then not long after she became pregnant with boy number four. So my brother and his wife now have five children. one with a little iVF tretment, one an IVF Baby and three with only one tube!!!
My sister inlaw was in her fourties when she became pregnant with number five.
Kindest regards
lisa

All the best for your daughter's treatment Noeleen.

This thread has certainly made me appreciate my kids - I can only guess at the stresses involved in IVF and other fertility treatments.

All the best - I do hope that you will be posting some wonderful baby news in the future for us!

Wilm

I think a lot of it has to do with the later age that we are having children. When you reach 30 your fertility automatically halves. Lynley, don't you think that having kids just because it is the thing to do is more selfish than making the conscious decision not to have children? Also, perhaps that lady's article was a defensive response to maybe not being able to have children? My husband and i haven;t tried to have children yet, but i can certainly sympathise with those who try so hard, as friends of mine are doing at the moment. it is heart breaking.