Do you feel the dilemma of whether to offer food if someone's coming round for a coffee?

Sometimes it seems to just create an awkwardness if food is offered (everyone's always on a diet...), especially if it turns out to be food they'd usually avoid. Or the problem of feeling maybe you should offer food but don't want any yourself (having given up food between meals years ago....)!

If you do offer food, what do you offer? Maybe you try for a healthy offering, or home made cooking to show a little effort, or put out some crackers......... ?

Or shall we just stick to coffee? Whew! Simple. Easy. Or does impoliteness of no food offering creep into the room's equation...............?

How about making a batch of friands and popping them in the freezer, that way you can offer a homemade sweet treat, without having to do much work, you can defrost just the number you want. I always tend to offer a sweet treat with coffee, and friands are gluten free, and small so more likely to be acceptable to those dieting.

When I stopped eating wheat (and stopped baking except for very special occasions) I wrestled with this dilemma. I had always enjoyed baking and enjoyed the obvious pleasure that home baking gave people. However I decided that I had to draw a line so I stopped providing baking and instead would bring out cheese and nuts. Nobody seemed to mind, and after a few years I stopped the cheese and nuts and nobody seemed to notice that either. Nobody actually needs to eat at those times of day, it's just a social convention. The important thing is the conversation; with some friends we sit and chat over glasses of water as none of us drink tea or coffee after lunchtime.

Unless they say otherwise I usually offer some food but I never worry if they don't eat anything. Nor do I feel self-conscious if I don't eat. The offer is there. I don't do a lot of baking unless I plan ahead but I usually have something in the freezer that can be thawed quickly. Sometimes I will serve cheese and crackers (there is one brand of gluten free crackers that I particularly like); a little bowl of roasted almonds, sometimes even chocolate that has been given to us and I'm not big on chocolate.
As has been pointed out, it's the company that I feel is more important than the food.

If I've invited someone around especially to come and have a cup of coffee with me - I'd put something on a plate to eat even if it's a bought biscuit out of a packet but I often have baking in the freezer. On the other hand if someone unexpectedly arrives for whatever reason and we ask if they'd like to come in and have a cup of coffee, then it is what it is: just a cup of coffee or tea, unless I have some fresh baking lingering around that I can put out. I have no problem if they pass on eating anything. On a farm we often have someone unexpectedly calling in, but I never feel under pressure that I have to put food on a plate.
Regards,
Dawn.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2017 08:11AM by Dawn.

Thanks, the replies are helpful. I need to just chill out and not worry about unspoken and probably non-existent concerns, and give food if I wish and none if I don't. Young people are easy - definitely put food out and yes it will be eaten!

If I invite someone to come for morning or afternoon tea, then I will bake a cake or scones or biscuits. If, however, someone just drops by then I just make coffee or tea but will offer a sweet treat if there is something in the tins or freezerI guess I am old-fashioned in that respect.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2017 12:52PM by Chris.

I would probably whip up some muffins since they're so fast to do, but I don't think it's obligatory, I just like to. I wouldn't feel at all miffed if I wasn't offered food.

If I don't know the person that well then I would definitely offer something to eat, I often have a baked slice in the freezer that I can whip a few pieces out and onto a plate.
If it is one of my good friends I will sometimes just offer some chocolate from a bar.
Or if it is one of my sugar free friends (I have one or two) then I don't offer anything as I know that they are watching their weight/health with a microscope.

As above if invited would probably offer a little something, if unexpected will be dependant on state of pantry! Mind you most friends and family drop round for a wine :-)

If I invite someone over for coffee then I will make muffins or gems for morning tea or a slice for afternoon tea. However if I am chatting on the phone to a neighbour and say 'on the hoof' come over for coffee then I feel that is a casual invite and for morning tea will offer crackers and cheese or a biscuit (usually bght) for afternoon tea. I live in a village so receive many invites for coffee and so it is usually the latter.

Thats something Ive often pondered.
Now if its just me and them - coffee is coffee, no food. If its going to be food, it will be " Come found for lunch" . If kids are there, different story, I will always have treats.

When my kids were little and I was doing the coffee group thing - we always bought food - no wonder some of us piled on the the pounds. We really didnt need the delicious bakery food we all stuffed ourselves with kidding ourselves with the breastfeeding line.
Everyone bought enough for the group, times that by 6-8 and we had alot of junk!

Vanessa

LOL maybe I wont have many coffee friends not offering food. Just thinking coffee out is mostly just a coffee and a chat, occasionally a muffin if Ive skipped breakfast.

Usually at my home in Warsaw when I am inviting somebody (rather friends/family) for a coffee I rather always serve something sweet. It may by self-made or purchased. Everybody eats as much as she/he wants. If doesn't want it is not a problem as well. If it is an ad-hoc meeting it is not a problem to serve only tea or coffee, however I rather keep something sweet "on stock" all the time.

Flora205 Warsaw/Poland
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I also struggle what to offer. If there are children involved I usually offer something.

It is one of the things I struggle with the most
- in our family culture sharing home baking was a sign of love
- part of me feels sharing the odd piece of baking is not the cause of our weight gain
- part of me feels that we should be able to decline offered food because it may not be to our own tastes or meeting with our weight management plan or diet
- sometimes these occasions do become more frequent than ideal so it does add up in terms of sugar and calories and wheat

I don't think any option is wrong now- but if someone has made an effort obviously to make something I think it is polite to accept a small amount unless you are severely intolerant/allergic etc